Desires Are Not Sin
First, let’s clear some things up. It is not a sin to have sexual desires. It is not a sin to have sexual feelings. (It is what you do with it..)
It is not something to be ashamed about. Is God ashamed of what He created? God is the creator of all things, and all the things He created is good. Gen. 1:39 Everything God created is magnificent. And a fire, a flame within a fireplace brings warmth, brings light, but outside of the fire place will burn you, it will hurt.
1) So, why did God create sex? What was His intention?
1) Expression of Love
1. To be a divine expression of Love. “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:9)
2) Seeing His Love
He allows us to see His love and bind Husband & wife through through a spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual experience in sex.
3) Procreation
“Be fruitful & multiply, fill the earth & multiply” Genesis 1:28
A Divine Expression of Love
Sneak Peek
Sex is a divine expression of Love, setting us free to love, allowing us a little peek into the way God loves us.
Beauty
He wanted us to enjoy sex, within a marriage--creating us in a way that He deems beautiful.
Living to Give
To receive pleasure & to give pleasure--a TOTAL giving of self.
Giving Completely
Through it you are saying: “I am completely yours, I belong totally to you.”
It Is so powerful that the devil has continued to change its purpose & use it in the complete opposite way that God intended it to be. A fire within the fireplace will give light, it will bring warmth, don't light the match outside of it.
2) Why do we have these desires young?
Ex: Steel, has to be put through fire, & hit several times before it can be formed into the shape that is needed. We are tempted to make us stronger in our spiritual lives, and to grow more faithful to our creator.
A) Self Control
To prepare us to have self control, and for the true self giving of love.
B) Channel the Feelings
When it is not the appropriate time to act on them, we need to allow the Holy Spirit to guide, & channel those feelings. Those feelings for the opposite gender are natural, & given by God.
C) Relying on God
Just as the saints were tempted, to make us more pure & learn to rely on GOD for resisting that temptation.
2) How is it Holy?
Sex is not shameful it is Godly. He created the most beautiful design for the body. A blessed union becoming one in flesh and spirit--the visible through sex, the invisible, a mystery to us, seen only in God’s eyes. We see a mystery, a Holy union, a holy matrimony.
We see the image of unity in the Trinity, that depicts the nature of God. Father, Son, & Holy Spirit--we glorify God, when we are uniting as one flesh.
As we are now the temple of God, in the new covenant, in the sacrifice that the Son came down, reconciling us with the Father. We become the dwelling place, the temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Cor 3:17
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled..” (Hebrews 13:4)
Sex was not made for a person on his/her own.. It was not created for the same gender…
It becomes like gum which we chew and spit out after it loses its taste...When we use sex as something for ourselves, rather than in the way God deemed it to be created, outside of the purpose that He intended.
Love suffers long Love is kind; Love does not envy; God is Love. 1st Cor. 13
Love means GIVING everything, including your body.
Love + Holy Body = Holy Sex.
“MARRIAGE IS THE KEY OF MODERATION AND THE HARMONY OF DESIRES, THE SEAL OF A DEEP FRIENDSHIP… THE UNIQUE DRINK FROM A FOUNTAIN ENCLOSED, AND ACCESSIBLE TO THOSE WITHOUT. UNITED IN THE FLESH, ONE IN SPIRIT, THEY URGE EACH OTHER ON BY THE GOAD OF THE MUTUAL LOVE. FOR MARRIAGE DOES NOT REMOVE GOD, BUT BRINGS ALL CLOSER TO HIM FOR IT IS GOD HIMSELF WHO DRAWS US TO IT.“ – SAINT GREGORY THE THEOLOGIAN
Why is the drive not a sin?
Mainly because it’s God who puts that in us, for the sake of the reasons listed above, but then when we are tempted at the wrong time it's to make us more pure, just as the saints were tempted (St. Arsema for example), to be able to rely on God for resisting that temptation, and directing that energy elsewhere.
Kinds of Love
It is multidimensional. God is Love.
Eros-Physical; Agape-Sacrificial; Philos: Philanthropic-Love of humankind
God wants us to love our future spouse in all these types of love,
You cannot truly experience love fully, and all that God has in store if you love in only one way.
Love..
..does not parade itself..Love never fails. (1st Cor 13)
Love means bearing the weaknesses, flaws, defects of the other person without exposing him/her.
Love means serving under the feet, like our Lord under the Church, His sacrifice on the Cross.
He gave His only begotten Son, for our salvation.
Are you able to give, sacrifice, and die for the other person?
Acting on those Feelings
Every part of our body is sanctified at our chrismation, with the meron placed on 36 parts of our body, we are sanctified to be the temple of God, the temple of the Holy Spirit.
Outside of a marriage, it is a sin. No other ‘types’ of sex that the world has contorted are allowed, this is a destruction of the Holiness God has placed on Sex.
“Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” 1 Cor 3:16
A fire lit outside of a fireplace can burn the house down, but within its place, it gives warmth, it gives light.
“The woman has to live in harmony with her husband. They have to work together for the supreme goal: salvation. The woman is the heart of the family, as a man is the head of the family.
If there’s no heart, that is empty. The two of them should have a relationship of total self sacrifice, not a conventional one. The woman can give birth to Christ in her husbands heart.“ -Elder Arsenie
Why as Christians should we be modest, both men & women?
“Imagine your friend who loves cars & is jealous when seeing another person with the car he desperately wants. Jealousy a sin, let’s say you own a Ferrari, & visit that friend who will covet your possession.” You cover the mirrors of that Ferrari with a tight wrap-around cover; will that deter them from sin? So, you cover the entire car with an extremely tight cover accentuating all its features, still obvious the kind of car; will that deter them from sin?
Save Yourself for Your Spouse
No matter how young we are, let’s save our body for our future spouse, in order not to “put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way’ Rom.14:13. Be faithful to him/her ahead of time by refraining from “visual adultery” & giving everyone a glance at what is going to be just for them, while saving others from committing adultery in their hearts.
“Your beauty shouldn’t come from outward adornment..women should adorn themselves in modest apparel..not with braided hair, gold, costly clothing, but, which is proper for professing godliness” 1st Pet. 3:3, 1 Tim 2:8-10
Reflection of Love
Would I wear it if Christ came knocking?Is it too revealing/tight/short?
It's a reflection of our love for others, helping one another on our journey to heaven, in whatever way possible.
So, who is held responsible? We can’t put complete blame on others. We need to bring people toward God, not make them grow distant.
“Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.” 1 Cor 10:23
Honoring ourselves
It is well pleasing to God to be admired for looking nice. Just don’t cause others to sin & don’t become dependent on attention from others = self-idolatry. If we have to pull it up to fix it, or slide it down to cover ourselves..we probably shouldn’t wear it.
Guys, as difficult as it can be, strive to remain pure & chaste for God, yourself, & your potential spouse. You are held for your actions, we can't blame the other person. Look away when sin lies before your eyes. Ladies, modesty is truly the most attractive thing we can clothe ourselves with, it is our duty to always strive to protect others.
Nakedness was used to shame our Lord & Savior on the Holy Cross. Perceived as shameful by Adam & Eve when exiled from Paradise. Your BODY is a temple. 1 Cor. 6:19
Is it wrong to have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Is dating a sin?
If you want to pursue a relationship with someone, your intention should be with the end goal of marriage. Dating solely for the momentary excitement or fun is not dating with a purpose. Dating with the purpose of marriage as the end goal is considered as courtship in Tewahdo faith.
Sin is anything that takes you away from God. Dating without a purpose can easily bring you to sinful acts, thus our Church advises us to “court” instead of “date”. Courtship is to ensure purity of mind and body in relationships (1 Cor 6:18-20). In a courtship, you confirm your intention with your partner to proceed in purity towards the goal of marriage and involve your father of confession for accountability and guidance.
We don’t get too caught up on the terms being used, but rather what they mean. God being at the center of your relationship and your desires for the future is the most important thing to remember. “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (Col 3:17)
Can you get married in the court?
Marriage is one of the 7 sacraments of the church. A sacrament means God is accomplishing a spiritual work. In the marriage sacrament, you go into the church as two people, but you come out United as One Flesh in His eyes.
When you put God first and have Him bless your marriage in this way, He will bless and be invited into your household and marriage it is important to fulfill that sacrament in the House of God.
It’s a promise to God of your faithfulness to your partner. Your marriage will be seen as a union in the eyes of God if you get married in the church. .
If you can’t find a Tewahdo Church, it is advised to seek other sister churches that we are in communion with (meaning those which we share the sacraments with--- the Eritrean, Ethiopian, Coptic, Malankara, Syrian, and Armenian Oriental Orthodox churches are in communion). .
Traveling to a Tewahdo Church to perform the sacrament of matrimony is a worthy investment and should not go unexamined. If you need to go to court afterwards, you can. .
The Court is legal, the church is spiritual. The purpose is for oneness under God. They are two different things. For further questions on this topic, address your father of confession or get in contact with a priest.