Hmm.. Can I live with that?

Think about the worst qualities of the potential spouse. It doesn’t make sense because as Christians we should be looking at the good qualities, always making excuses for one another that God may make excuses for our transgressions.

Back to those qualities, did you think about the worst qualities? Now would you be able to live with those qualities? With that in mind, get to know yourself, figure out the lifestyle you would need, and how you will best glorify God in your life with a potential spouse.
Here are some questions to think about before considering Dating/Courtship.

SPIRITUAL

  1. How is your prayer life? Do you put God as your first priority in life above all things?

  2. What do you see as a role in helping your spouse reach the kingdom of heaven?

  3. How is your prayer life? Gentlemen, Can you lead you family in prayer? Do you shy praying in front of others outside your friends? Would you lead prayer in the morning and night with your wife?

  4. How is your relationship with God? Do you enjoy being alone with God or do you feel weird being by yourself? If you can’t be alone with God, you can’t expect to be with someone else, you don't know yourself.

  5. How do you relate to God? Do you see him as master, judge, father, or friend (or some mixture thereof)?

  6. How much do you depend on God? Do you think he solves all your problems, or do you prefer the adage that “ God helps those who help themselves“

  7. Do you put God as your first priority in life above all things? What role do you want God to play in a relationship with each other?

  8. What are your attitudes toward prayer, the Bible, going to liturgy early, and having confession and communion regularly? What are your attitudes to Service in the church and giving tithes?

  9. How would you classify yourself religiously : Conservative, moderate, or liberal? What is the role of the confession father or spiritual guide in your personal life how involved you expect him to be in a relationship?

  10. What do you see as a role in helping your spouse reach the kingdom of heaven?

SOCIAL

  1. Do you have the same kind of friends? How comfortable do you feel when you are in your partners circle of friends?

  2. How comfortable do you feel when you visit your partners family?

  3. What interests or hobbies do you share in common? Do you have any topics of common interest that you talk about?

  4. Are you the kind of person who thrives on being with others or do you prefer to stay in and have quite a quiet evening?

  5. How much do you feel others should know about your lives?

EDUCATIONAL

  1. How do you feel about your partner’s abilities and achievements? Do you see them in a positive light or do you see them as a disappointment or as a threat?

  2. What are your views on ambition is it something you admire or something you consider harmful to your happiness and contentment with life?

  3. Would you support your partner if s/he was wish to pursue further education after marriage with all the sacrifices that might require from you?

EMOTIONAL

  1. What is your personality type, and what are the common problems arise between this type in your partners type?

  2. What is your preferred “love language” — physical touch, words of affirmation, quality of quality time, giving gifts, or acts of service? What is your partners?

  3. Do you prefer to confront problems head-on and solve them, to quietly and patiently find a compromise, or perhaps even to avoid them altogether and hope they will go away?

  4. Are you hotheaded or calm and rational? Are you able to work out your problems together or you constantly misunderstanding each other and seeing the worst in each other? How do you deal with problems and failures?

  5. Do you easily feel hurt, jealous, or proud, or look down on yourself? What about other emotions?

  6. How much emotional support do you expect from each other? What kind of emotional support do you expect? How much support are you able to actually give?

PHYSICAL

  1. How important is physical appearance to you?

  2. What level of grooming and dress sense do you expect from your partner? Are you comfortable with his/her expectations of you?

FINANCIAL

  1. How would you describe yourself thrifty, big spender, or somewhere in between?

  2. How much do you worry about finances? How important is it to plan ahead financially?

  3. What is your view of wives working full-time? What about mothers working full-time? House husband?

  4. Are you willing to share the housework between you in order to allow both of you to work?

  5. What is your attitude toward paying tithes and first-fruits, or making donations?

  6. Will you put both your and comes into one account to be used by either?

OTHER QUESTIONS

Is s/he the same person in different environments? 

If s/he didn’t have that job would you still love her/him?

Do you love him/er for who s/he is, or what s/he does--the job they have or the kind of person they are?

SOURCE: “Two become One”
An Orthodox Christian guide to engagement and marriage
By Fr Antonios Kaldas & Ireni Attia

Are you attempting to transfer the things you are looking for in a partner onto a person?
or are you trying to get to know what your partner is really like?

Think of all the worst things you know about your partner and ask yourself
“can I happily live with that for the rest of my life”

Questions Answered

Email or instaDM Your Q's! | eotyoc@gmail.com/@livingtewahdo

Is it wrong to have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Is dating a sin?

If you want to pursue a relationship with someone, your intention should be with the end goal of marriage. Dating solely for the momentary excitement or fun is not dating with a purpose. Dating with the purpose of marriage as the end goal is considered as courtship in Tewahdo faith.
Sin is anything that takes you away from God. Dating without a purpose can easily bring you to sinful acts, thus our Church advises us to “court” instead of “date”. Courtship is to ensure purity of mind and body in relationships (1 Cor 6:18-20). In a courtship, you confirm your intention with your partner to proceed in purity towards the goal of marriage and involve your father of confession for accountability and guidance.
We don’t get too caught up on the terms being used, but rather what they mean. God being at the center of your relationship and your desires for the future is the most important thing to remember. “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (Col 3:17)

Can you get married in the court?

Marriage is one of the 7 sacraments of the church. A sacrament means God is accomplishing a spiritual work. In the marriage sacrament, you go into the church as two people, but you come out United as One Flesh in His eyes.
When you put God first and have Him bless your marriage in this way, He will bless and be invited into your household and marriage it is important to fulfill that sacrament in the House of God.
It’s a promise to God of your faithfulness to your partner. Your marriage will be seen as a union in the eyes of God if you get married in the church. .
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If you can’t find a Tewahdo Church, it is advised to seek other sister churches that we are in communion with (meaning those which we share the sacraments with--- the Eritrean, Ethiopian, Coptic, Malankara, Syrian, and Armenian Oriental Orthodox churches are in communion). .
Traveling to a Tewahdo Church to perform the sacrament of matrimony is a worthy investment and should not go unexamined. If you need to go to court afterwards, you can. .
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The Court is legal, the church is spiritual. The purpose is for oneness under God. They are two different things. For further questions on this topic, address your father of confession or get in contact with a priest.