Desires Are Not Sin
First, let’s clear some things up. It is not a sin to have sexual desires. It is not a sin to have sexual feelings. (It is what you do with it..)
It is not something to be ashamed about. Is God ashamed of what He created? God is the creator of all things, and all the things He created is good. Gen. 1:39 Everything God created is magnificent. And a fire, a flame within a fireplace brings warmth, brings light, but outside of the fire place will burn you, it will hurt.
1) So, why did God create sex? What was His intention?
A Divine Expression of Love
Sex is a divine expression of Love, setting us free to love, allowing us a little peek into the way God loves us.
He wanted us to enjoy sex, within a marriage--creating us in a way that He deems beautiful.
Living to Give
To receive pleasure & to give pleasure--a TOTAL giving of self.
Through it you are saying: “I am completely yours, I belong totally to you.”
It Is so powerful that the devil has continued to change its purpose & use it in the complete opposite way that God intended it to be. A fire within the fireplace will give light, it will bring warmth, don't light the match outside of it.
2) Why do we have these desires young?
Ex: Steel, has to be put through fire, & hit several times before it can be formed into the shape that is needed. We are tempted to make us stronger in our spiritual lives, and to grow more faithful to our creator.
2) How is it Holy?
Sex is not shameful it is Godly. He created the most beautiful design for the body. A blessed union becoming one in flesh and spirit--the visible through sex, the invisible, a mystery to us, seen only in God’s eyes. We see a mystery, a Holy union, a holy matrimony.
We see the image of unity in the Trinity, that depicts the nature of God. Father, Son, & Holy Spirit--we glorify God, when we are uniting as one flesh.
As we are now the temple of God, in the new covenant, in the sacrifice that the Son came down, reconciling us with the Father. We become the dwelling place, the temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Cor 3:17
Sex was not made for a person on his/her own.. It was not created for the same gender…
It becomes like gum which we chew and spit out after it loses its taste...When we use sex as something for ourselves, rather than in the way God deemed it to be created, outside of the purpose that He intended.
Love suffers long Love is kind; Love does not envy; God is Love. 1st Cor. 13
Love means GIVING everything, including your body.
Love + Holy Body = Holy Sex.
“MARRIAGE IS THE KEY OF MODERATION AND THE HARMONY OF DESIRES, THE SEAL OF A DEEP FRIENDSHIP… THE UNIQUE DRINK FROM A FOUNTAIN ENCLOSED, AND ACCESSIBLE TO THOSE WITHOUT. UNITED IN THE FLESH, ONE IN SPIRIT, THEY URGE EACH OTHER ON BY THE GOAD OF THE MUTUAL LOVE. FOR MARRIAGE DOES NOT REMOVE GOD, BUT BRINGS ALL CLOSER TO HIM FOR IT IS GOD HIMSELF WHO DRAWS US TO IT.“ – SAINT GREGORY THE THEOLOGIAN
Why is the drive not a sin?
Mainly because it’s God who puts that in us, for the sake of the reasons listed above, but then when we are tempted at the wrong time it's to make us more pure, just as the saints were tempted (St. Arsema for example), to be able to rely on God for resisting that temptation, and directing that energy elsewhere.
“The woman has to live in harmony with her husband. They have to work together for the supreme goal: salvation. The woman is the heart of the family, as a man is the head of the family.
If there’s no heart, that is empty. The two of them should have a relationship of total self sacrifice, not a conventional one. The woman can give birth to Christ in her husbands heart.“ -Elder Arsenie
Why as Christians should we be modest, both men & women?
“Imagine your friend who loves cars & is jealous when seeing another person with the car he desperately wants. Jealousy a sin, let’s say you own a Ferrari, & visit that friend who will covet your possession.” You cover the mirrors of that Ferrari with a tight wrap-around cover; will that deter them from sin? So, you cover the entire car with an extremely tight cover accentuating all its features, still obvious the kind of car; will that deter them from sin?
Is it wrong to have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Is dating a sin?
If you want to pursue a relationship with someone, your intention should be with the end goal of marriage. Dating solely for the momentary excitement or fun is not dating with a purpose. Dating with the purpose of marriage as the end goal is considered as courtship in Tewahdo faith.
Sin is anything that takes you away from God. Dating without a purpose can easily bring you to sinful acts, thus our Church advises us to “court” instead of “date”. Courtship is to ensure purity of mind and body in relationships (1 Cor 6:18-20). In a courtship, you confirm your intention with your partner to proceed in purity towards the goal of marriage and involve your father of confession for accountability and guidance.
We don’t get too caught up on the terms being used, but rather what they mean. God being at the center of your relationship and your desires for the future is the most important thing to remember. “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (Col 3:17)
Can you get married in the court?
Marriage is one of the 7 sacraments of the church. A sacrament means God is accomplishing a spiritual work. In the marriage sacrament, you go into the church as two people, but you come out United as One Flesh in His eyes.
When you put God first and have Him bless your marriage in this way, He will bless and be invited into your household and marriage it is important to fulfill that sacrament in the House of God.
It’s a promise to God of your faithfulness to your partner. Your marriage will be seen as a union in the eyes of God if you get married in the church. .
If you can’t find a Tewahdo Church, it is advised to seek other sister churches that we are in communion with (meaning those which we share the sacraments with--- the Eritrean, Ethiopian, Coptic, Malankara, Syrian, and Armenian Oriental Orthodox churches are in communion). .
Traveling to a Tewahdo Church to perform the sacrament of matrimony is a worthy investment and should not go unexamined. If you need to go to court afterwards, you can. .
The Court is legal, the church is spiritual. The purpose is for oneness under God. They are two different things. For further questions on this topic, address your father of confession or get in contact with a priest.