“Don’t consider marriage an obstacle to pleasing God, because if marriage and the bringing up of children were to become an obstacle on the path of virtue, the Creator wouldn’t have introduced it into our life… It’s no hindrance to anything in our Christian life, as long as we wish to strive"
-St. John Chrysostom; 'On Genesis'
Marriage is God's Will
We prepare for all of the sacraments, from doing confession before taking Holy Communion, and just like all of the Sacraments that God placed for us, we should be preparing for Holy Matrimony. Courtship- sole intention is marriage, not just to ‘hang out’ or ‘just have fun’
1) Are we allowed to date? When can we start to date?
Yes, but only first if we have had an alone time with God Just like when God created Adam, he had 7 days of alone time, Biblically, 7 days is 7 years 2nd Peter 3:8. So God asks of us for alone time with Him.
Adam was not the one that asked God for a wife, but with complete submission to God, he spent the time. God said that it is not good for man to be alone. Before you are married and miss it! Before you have kids and wish you had more time alone with God! This doesn’t mean you should delay your time to get married. There is a season for everything.
Marriage is A Calling
“It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Gen 2:18
2) What should we be doing until then?
What was Adam doing?
Speaking with God in prayer; constantly in His presence
How is our confession life? It's not the end of the world after we sin. Repentance turns prostitutes into virgins;
Being WITH Him creates purity of heart. Return to Him! After Going in the wrong direction for so long.
Are you going to end up relying on your husband/wife for your spiritual needs? That won't work.
Did you finish your schooling?
Just being a mezemran or deacon is Not work. This is the person's relationship with God.
What fruit are you bringing to the marriage?
Are you choosing your friends--do you have a worldview of the kind of person you are? Take responsibility; have your worldview in order;
If you want to know who to court, look at the person's friends; what they post on social media. How do they dress up on social media? Is s/he always at church? rain/snow? Is s/he consistent? It's advised to look at someone in your church first because we know their faults
You marry not just the person, but their family too. Maybe the person grew out and flourished in a desert; they didn’t choose their family they didn’t have a choice. But they did choose their friends;
...look at who their friends are! They had a choice in 'naming' their friends. You have a choice too. Lot lost his wife, she wanted to look back when it comes to God you have a choice to make.
D) Adam was Asleep..
..when Eve was provided for him.
Sleep means have no worries! Leave them all to God
Isaac said, “I see the fire, I see the wood, where is the lamb? ‘God will provide’ said Abraham God will provide!
This is the foundation! Alone time with God!
Adam was not complaining, he was not desperate.
Do not start a relationship when you are desperate. This is when we need to be patient.
Think about when you are hungry after fasting without eating for so long, you will eat pretty much anything. We do NOT want this for courtship/dating.
E) Adam was COMPLETELY Alone..
..Being alone seems to be a big deal here if you haven’t noticed .
We have sent messages, slid into the DM's of multiple people, constantly seeking others' affection.
that means we aren't really alone!
- We are being fed bits and pieces from different people
- like going to a buffet; we can't seem to choose what we like
- we will never end up being satisfied with one person at the end.
- STOP looking for the perfect person! ONLY God can fulfill that requirement
- At times we want to be married when we see married persons. Other times we read about monkhood we want to become a solitary.