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How can we differentiate love and infatuation?

Infatuation is the emotions one may experience when first meeting someone. Although these feelings are strong, they are temporary, based on physical attraction, unreasonably passionate, and are about self-satisfaction. Infatuation easily allows for sinful behavior and temptations into a relationship and explicitly defy God’s commandments. We can learn this through the story of Samson who’s infatuation led to his downfall. His infatuation for Delilah blinded him, for he could not realize that she was betraying him (Judges 14: 5-6). He did not seek approval from God and let his lust take precedence over his call from God. Samson told her his whole heart while she explicitly deceived him. Delilah stripped him from his strength and left him physically and spiritually weak. Infatuation blinds us from the truth, our call from God, just like it did to Samson. If Samson was keen to the will of God, He would be able to see how he was infatuated over Delilah. Leading a life of purpose and aligning our will with His helps us to not fall into this trap. 


Love is slow-building and is based on many factors. In order to love someone, you must be willing to forgive and accept the imperfections, grow with that person, and have a connection deeper than the physical aspect. You cannot love someone after just meeting them, you must experience life with them first. Most importantly, you must love God first. God knows our hearts and still gave us everlasting life by sending His only Son down to save us. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) How loving is our God? He forgives us for our sins and strengthens our faith. There is no greater love than that. The love of God also teaches us about service and sacrifice, because these two are pillars of marriage. Before we can love someone else, we must love our merciful God first. Furthermore, we must proceed in the purity of thought, word, and deed with our partner so that our feelings aren’t infiltrated by physical and emotional needs (ie. attention-seeking, sexual desire, financial or material dependency, etc.). If you have more questions about deciphering between infatuation and love, it is advisable to speak with your father of confession.

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