What Not To Do:
Send the Wrong Signals
--.> Don’t text late, 2 am, don’t allow your emotions to get the best of you. You are sending the wrong signals.
--> If you get a text at 1 am from a guy/girl don’t answer it--your not his/her confession father.
Reveal too Much
Don’t show your cleavage, cover your glory (hair). “But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her..” 1st Cor 11:15
Have Too Many Friends of the Opposite Sex
Guys, why do you have so many friends that are girls? Cut that out so that you don’t compare later on! And vice versa.
What To Do:
Think About the Other Person
- Watch out for each other. You don’t know the power you have over the other person. Placing ideas in the other's head that may not have been your intention.
Keep Your Distance
- If you want a
- ..holy wife, tame yourself and keep your distance.
- ..holy husband, don’t give too much of yourself.
Keep Yourself A Surprise
- A beautiful gift is covered with a gift wrap. It is kept a surprise, and opened only to whom it is gifted.
- In general, guy or girl, keep yourself a mystery!
If Marriage Fails..
..the church fails. If we don’t get it right, even spiritual life will be difficult.
Choosing A Spouse
Do Your Homework
Use your judgment, when things go wrong, you can't blame the person; you made the decision.
You are called to Love Your Wife | Obey Your Husband
As Christ Loved the Church. God calls on men to sacrifice their lives, as Christ sacrificed Himself for the Church
God calls on women to submit to their husbands "As to the Lord." God isn't jealous when we do this, He is telling us to do this.
The woman is the heart of the family, as a man is the head of the family. If there’s no heart, that is empty. The two of them should have a relationship of total self sacrifice, not a conventional one. The woman can give birth to Christ in her husbands heart.“
-Elder Arsenie
Is Obedience Harder or Love?
Unconditional love! In times of difficulty, in times of tribulation. This is harder.
Our church gives you a crown to show you are entering a battle
The first thing the devil went after was separating Adam and Eve. To fix this, the first miracle that Christ did was at the wedding at Cana of Galilee. I will restore that marriage. Are you ready for the evil that will come after you?
“A young husband should say to his bride: ‘I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us.’” † St. John Chrysostom †
Criteria
How does she speak to others? How is she serving, is she obedient to the church rules, is she complaining about the priests?
How is his love for his parents? How does he talk to his siblings, his brothers, to the other servants around him?
Just like you don’t go shopping, without making sure you have the money for it, don’t look for a courtship, unless you have the emotional maturity for a marriage,.
Think about: What your mom does to make your dad angry, or what your dad does to make your mom angry. Watch others to see what you don’t want to do when you are married.
You're not going to get married because you need a husband or wife, or because they have money, but because you want a companion. There are things that men tend to be good at, there are things that women tend to be good at. Respect this.
Other
Each person has things they want to do, don’t try to change them.
Learn from older friends to know what mistakes NOT to make.
Important
Have a good relationship with your confession father.
Ladies give up some things, spend less; Guys, be generous, women like it when you surprise them.
Tips
Your status/job or place in the church, does not give you authority over everything, we need to learn to humble ourselves.
Verses to Memorize
Ephesians 5:22-24; 25-33 | 1st Corinthians 13:4-8
LADIES - Ephesians 5:22-24
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything
GENTLEMEN - Ephesians 5:25-33
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Everyone - 1st Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity,
but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails"
Place Your NAME instead of love, do you have those qualities?
"Husbands..
“....never call her simply by her name, but with terms of endearment, with honor, with much love. Honor her and she will not need honor from others, she will not want the glory that comes from others, as she enjoys that which comes from you. Prefer her before all on every account, both for beauty and her discernment, and praise her.”
†-St. John Chrysostom homily 20 on Ephesians†