In the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, One God, Amen!

Unworthy

“Why don’t you take the holy communion?” I hear this question too often. My first reaction is to run, instead, I hesitate and answer, “I am not ready.” As if the holy communion is a marathon. As if God’s great mystery is up to my own discretion of readiness. What I mean to say is I am not worthy, which is the absolute truth and a cop-out. I say, “I am not worthy,” because after I say these magical words, people often abandon their pursuit of convincing me to take the holy communion.

I hate it when people ask me this question because it feels as if God is working through them. Asking me why are you neglecting my body and flesh? Why do you choose worldly food over mine? It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I don’t think I should. His body is so pure, His flesh so clean. Who am I to receive such a holy gift? I am a sinner at heart. I have abused my body that is His temple through intoxication. I have lied with my mouth that should sing Him praise. I stole with my hands that should sacrifice for His honor. I danced the devil's tune with my feet that should walk to His holy house. Our God is indeed great, despite all my sins He still calls me for salvation. He begs me to partake from His Holy body and flesh. Yet, I ignore His call by saying, “I am not worthy.”

One determined brother who could see right through my words of escape, replied, “we don’t take it because we are Holy, we take it because we want to be Holy.” I realized then, I had misunderstood the whole purpose of the holy communion. Although it is a gift we should accept when we have confessed and repented, we do need to realize repentance is a lifelong action. Meaning, we will need to continue working on our weakness to remain sinless, it’s not a one-time event. Thus, we can not wait to be completely sinless before we take the communion. We can still work on our sins as we take it. That’s actually where the holy communion plays a crucial role. Taking it allows us to be stronger in our spiritual warfare.

The holy communion is our shield, when we receive it, it gives us strength to resist sin, which is why in Ephesians 6:13 we are instructed to “take up the whole armor of God, that [we] may be able to withstand in the evil day and having done all, to stand firm.” All this time, I have been refusing the one thing that would have helped me fight sin. My action was counterproductive, I didn’t receive the holy communion because I believed I was sinful but it was the only thing that could have given me the strength to fight sin. Jesus said, “He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him” (John 6:56). When we accept the body and flesh of Jesus Christ we become one with Him. Our body tresends with a special power that makes us Christ-like in all His virtues. On the contrary, “unless [we] eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, [we] have no life in [us]” (John 6:53). The holy communion is our spiritual life-line, without it we are merely an exterior of a beautiful design.

Now, I understand my prettily disguised words were the devil's weapon against my salvation. It’s true I am not worthy, nor will I ever be in front of our almighty God. He is too perfect for me to measure myself up to Him. However, my worthiness in His eyes comes from having the heart of repentance, obedience, and ultimate faith in His will for my life. Even though I am not worthy to receive such a holy gift as the communion, I will accept it so that I can be worthy. God’s will for our life is salvation, which comes from accepting the body and flesh of Christ. May He prepare us to become part of His flesh and body and remembrance of His sacrament.

Glory to God, Amen.

Beza