In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, One God, Amen!
Religious or Delusional?
I can't remember the amount of time I was made to feel crazy because of my religion. Especially, now that I am in graduate school, I am constantly questioned and judged for my religious beliefs. People are so curious as to why "an educated woman is religious." I have gotten so many comments like "wow but you are smart" when I say I am religious or "I didn’t expect that from such an educated woman," all the comments imply that educated people are not supposed to be religious or believe in God. I am still dumbfounded by these ignorant comments especially because they come from my highly educated co-workers or classmates that I would expect to be open-minded people. At the same time though, I do not blame them for their ignorance because I am in the environment that feeds them these ideas. For all of my high school and college career, I attended liberal schools which means most of the population were atheist or believed in some kind of Buddhist related non-restricting religion. Being in this non-supportive environment for so long, I grew accustomed to either letting ignorant religious comments slide or avoiding religious conversations. For example, just the other day my professor made outwardly the craziest statement, which is why I decided to write this paper.
As we were in class discussing the bizarre and non-bizarre delusional behaviors of schizophrenic patients, a student asked what examples of delusional behaviors are and the professor responded, religion. He said and I quote "religion is one of the common delusions we see." Sitting in the front of the class, here I was stunned by what he had just said not because it was the first ignorant comment I have heard but because of how the information was presented. My professor acted as if what he was saying was a fact and not an opinion. I debated whether I should confront him or not, looking around the class I noticed all the students nodding their heads in agreement. Quickly, I realized I was alone in this. The conversation continued and as you can imagine it only got worse from there. The students started talking about how it was beyond their heads how Christian people think when they take the bread and wine (referring to the holy communion) they think that it literally becomes the flesh and body of Christ. As painful as this conversation was for me to hear, I was scared to speak out. After leaving class, however, I felt horrible and I could not erase the guilt of not standing up for my religion when it was being mocked to that extent. I questioned am I a bad Tewahedo? Did I fail God? That day in class became a crucial moment for me in that it showed me where I stood in my faith.
This was not the first time I kept quite or avoided topics related to religion. A lot of the times I prefer to avoid these conversations with my non-religious classmates, co-workers, and even friends for the sake of keeping the peace, so I told myself but really I was just scared to stand out in that kind of light. I know well enough I will be the only one to have that belief. I have heard all kinds of backlash against Christian people such as they are unaccepting, judgmental, close-minded, confused, and now delusional people. I never had anyone who shared the same religion with me who was not Eritrean. The closest I ever got to relating to my non-Tewahedo schoolmates is when they tell me the cross that hangs on my neck is “interesting” or “exotic.” What made the situation in class so special is that it was not just ignorant but attacking as well. Therefore, I had to write this paper partly to redeem myself from the guilt and I think some people might have similar experiences. Being in a country that is distressed and lost, we are bound to be victims at one point or another. I thought maybe sharing my story of being victimized, mocked, called delusional for believing in God and what I got out of it would be helpful to you, if you are going through similar situations. It is always nice to know that you are not alone because that in itself can be the strength you need to continue your journey. My means of coping have being knowing that this has happened and still happens to many people, saints, prophets, and even Christ himself when he was on earth; remembering all our struggles are noted by God and we will be rewarded for them in the eternal world; focusing on the fact that this world is temporary and passing; and lastly understanding that being tested is a reminder of our strength and faith.
As Tewahdo Orthodox, it is a given that we will be tested and will have to undergo some struggles but we must bear it because our reward is priceless. As He said in His own words, "have no fear of the things which you will have to undergo: see, the Evil One will send some of you into prison, so that you may be put to the test; and you will have great trouble for ten days. Be true till death, and I will give you the crown of life" (Revelation 2:10). To be on earth and to think of having to struggle even to the point of giving your life seems a lot, but remembering that we will be crowned in the eternal life makes it worth it. The best part is a lot of us don't even have to make such sacrifices to the point of death. On the scale of the struggles, the saints and prophets from the Bible had to go through, ours are minimal. When we are faced with people who see themselves as smart or say they are smart therefore they feel they can tell us believing in God is delusional. We can refer these people to Luke 14:11, which says, "for every man who gives himself a high place will be put down, but he who takes a low place will be lifted up." This is to say, those who believe because they are educated (and see themselves as being too smart for God) they can make us feel crazy for our beliefs will be judged by Him, us, however, should always bow our heads and not be afraid to be belittled because we will be lifted up later for bowing down now. Jesus said, "I have knowledge of your doings, and of your hard work and long waiting, and that you will not put up with evil men, and have put to the test those who say they are Apostles and are not, and have seen that they are false. And you have the power of waiting and have undergone trouble because of my name, without weariness" (Revelation 2:2-3). So think of the bullying as collecting brownie points or coupons that you get to cash out for an amazing present. Jesus promised, "truly I say to you, there is no man who has given up house or wife or brothers or father or mother or children, because of the kingdom of God, who will not get much more in this time, and in the world to come, eternal life" (Luke 18:29-30). Our present is eternal life in the world that really matters.
"Let your chief care be for his kingdom, and these other things will be given to you in addition" (Luke 12:31). This verse is a good reminder that the world we obsess so much about is not at all important. It’s not the world we should care about as it is passing and when the end comes it will vanish. Our aim should be to reach the permanent, non-vanishing, eternal world. Luckily, we have a merciful God who is happy to bring us to Him. He says, "have no fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom" (Luke 12:32). Following that, He instructs us on how to live in this temporary world so we can go to the eternal world. He says, "give what property you have in exchange for money, and give the money to the poor; make for yourselves money-bags which will be yours forever, where thieves will not come nor worms put it to destruction" (Luke 12:34). The highlight of this verse is that this world is a transition to our next and final destination. While in transit, we have to live our lives according to Christ, while filling our "money-bags" with good deeds so that we can be accepted to His kingdom. Remembering this world is temporary is understanding so are our problems. Jesus said, "I will make clear to you of whom you are to be in fear: of Him who after death has the power to send you to hell; yes, truly I say to you, have fear of Him" (Luke 12:5). Our fears should not be the people who might dislike us or make fun us (because that is temporary) but the God who will decide our fate.
My brother once said to me “sheytan zefenfenom ayegberena” meaning let us not be ones even the devil has disgraced or is disgusted by. It is awkward when translated but what my brother was saying was that, if we are not tested in our lives as Tewahedo then we need to evaluate our faith because it could be that even the devil has deemed us unworthy of his time. God only tests those He loves and the tests are signs of our strength. He said, "who, by the power of God are kept, through faith, for that last salvation, which will be seen on the last day. You have cause for great joy in this, though it may have been necessary for you to be troubled for a little time, being tested in all sorts of ways, so that the true metal of your faith, being of much greater value than gold (which, though it comes to an end, it is tested by fire), may come to light in praise and glory and honor, at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1Peter 1:5-7). After being tested, we become stronger in our faith and ready to fight for God. We should feel honored to be tested because those tests are part of what makes us Tewahedo and it's also how we show our love of God by overcoming them. A good example from the bible of people who have being tested and passed is the story of Lazarus. Lazarus was a very poor man with many wounds who was left to beg for food. To say the least, his life on earth was not bed of roses. However, when Lazarus died, angels took him to Abraham’s breast (Luke 16:22). His story is a motivation to us because our tests on this planet mean everlasting life in heaven. If we are lucky enough not to be swayed by those who do not believe in God and endure being belittled then we too might be able to sit in Abraham’s lab.
Our strength also shows when we stand up for God when he is being mocked and when we keep ourselves ready for the tests we might encounter by studying our religion and knowing God. We might suffer in His name but He will always come to our rescue. He knows they will tempt us because He said, "they will take you and be very cruel to you, giving you up to the Synagogues and to prisons, taking you before kings and rulers, because of my name... So take care not to be troubled before the time comes, about what answers you will give: for I will give you words and wisdom, so that not one of those who are against you will be able to get the better of you, or to put you in the wrong" (Luke 21:12,14-5) . In return though, we must never be swayed and always stand for Him because He warned us “anyone [who] says before men that he has no knowledge of me, I will say that I have no knowledge of him before the angels of God” (Luke 12:9).
May we always stay in His grace and be strong in the face of those who mock Him, and in our faith.
Glory to God, Amen.
Beza
